Stories & Reflections from a Family Medicine Physician Coach

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: humility

Showing 12 results:

I’ve been reflecting on how easily past training experiences (or any experience for that matter) can be oversimplified by those who didn’t live them. It took me a minute to understand why that bothered me. It's because those oversimplified accounts tell a very narrow story of some of the very exp...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jan 31, 2026 burnout compassion grace healing healthcare humanity humility kindness medicine mentorship perfectionism professionalism reflection residency resilience stress suffering surgery training trauma vulnerability witnessing

Story and Reflection: By the Book

A lighter note for today. I thought it’d be fun to share a story about what happens when my rule-follower tendencies show up at the exact moment my plan stops matching reality. Not too long ago, while traveling with multiple stops, airline changes, and short layovers, I was determined to fit ever...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jan 28, 2026 acceptance adaptability control determination flexibility frustration humility humor improvisation mindfulness partnership patience perseverance perspective planning problem-solving reflection resilience rules travel

Providing Entertainment in Lane 1

Last week a few things converged and culminated in me taking something head on that I’d been avoiding. First, spectating an Ironman a couple weeks ago. There’s something about being around real athletes who train hard and perform at that level. Inspiring for sure. That swim tho’… Second, planning...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Dec 10, 2025 awareness beginner commitment confidence courage discipline discomfort embarassment fear growth humility improvement inspiration integrity learning mindset motivation persistence practice progress reflection resilience self-talk swimming technique vulnerability

Ask Responsibly

I was thinking recently about how agreeable my AI assistant, Scribbs, is with me. He’s great at coming up with answers in the direction I point him - quick to confirm, validate, or spot what might be off. It’s a lot like those friends we turn to when we just want someone to agree with us. But I’v...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 24, 2025 ai alignment assumption awareness bias clarity confirmation connection course-correction criticism curiosity detective dialogue direction excitement exploration feedback growth guidance humility impulsivity inquiry insight intention judgment learning listening meaning-making mindset mirror oversight perspective purpose questions reflection reframing relevance self-talk

When Justice Meets the Judge

The shadow side of good values in medicine... I’ve learned that even good values have edges. Justice, for me, especially. We talk a lot about values in medicine: integrity, compassion, excellence, justice. But I’ve learned that even our best values have a "shadow side". Sometimes, even justice ne...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Oct 24, 2025 alignment awareness balance boundaries burnout clarity compassion control criticism discernment distortion ego evolution excellence faith grace humanity humility imbalance integrity judge judgment justice learning martyrdom outrage perfectionism perspective proportion reflection responsibility rigidity self-justification

Story and Reflection: What Story are You Telling?

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED Talk The Danger of a Single Story is one of my all-time favorites. She warns how a narrow narrative can distort the way we see people, cultures, even whole countries. But the danger of a single story doesn’t stop there. It shows up in how we see ourselves. The Singl...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Sep 28, 2025 advocacy belonging coaching confidence doubt event evidence growth humility identity judgment lens meaning medicine narrative perception perspective proof reassurance reflection resident retelling story strengths stress supervisor

The Award Not Won: Story and Reflection

It’s that season again. Graduation programs. Thank-you speeches. Awards. A flurry of new titles, public praise, and quiet appreciation. We do this because it matters. Recognition is powerful. Appreciation even more so. But in the messiness of human systems, it doesn’t always land how we intend. I...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 27, 2025 acknowledgment alignment appreciation authenticity belonging care celebration community compassion connection contribution encouragement equity gratitude humanity humility impact inclusion integrity leadership mentorship mindfulness presence process purpose recognition reflection service stewardship support systems values visibility well-being

Purpose at the Crossroads: Story and Reflection

It’s at the crossroads—between opportunity and discernment—that purpose gets tested. - A resident deciding between a desired fellowship and staying in a community they love that may not utilize that training. - A faculty member torn between taking on a leadership role or focusing their energy on ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 alignment authenticity boundaries calling clarity decision making discernment growth humility intentionality leadership long-term impact meaning opportunity purpose responsibility self-awareness service sustainability team based leadership timing transition vocation well-being wisdom

Story and Reflection: Mining for Value

Recently, I noticed that a member of our team had quietly pulled back. I knew she had experience—she’d been introduced as someone who had worked with universities, served as a legislative liaison, and helped stand up GME programs. She had consistently offered thoughtful perspectives, often seeing...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 awareness confidence confidence without arrogance contribution over ego curiosity deep listening dignity drawing out strengths experience experience matters expertise hidden hidden assets hidden strength honoring the whole person humility inclusive leadership influence beyond title invitational leadership leadership legacy listening mining mining for gold presence quiet contributors reactivation recognition relational leadership respectul curiosity storytelling strength team awareness undervalued undervalued expertise unseen unseen wisdom wisdom

Reflection: Passing it On

This past week, I had the great honor of sitting in a (virtual) room with five individuals who have dedicated decades of their careers to leadership in graduate medical education (GME). The idea for this gathering started one morning when I woke up thinking about how tough leading in GME can be. ...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 collaborative growth collective wisdom community connection cultivation honoring humility impact influence inspiration intergenerational learning knowledge transfer leadership legacy longevity meaning making mentorship reflective practice ripple effect slow leadership stewardship storytelling transparency vision casting vulnerability wisdom

Car Problems: Story and Reflection

Shortly after moving to Alaska and starting my core faculty role, I caused a traffic jam. You see, I had pulled onto the busy road in front of the residency and quickly maneuvered across three lanes of traffic to the two packed turn lanes in 5 o'clock traffic. And then --- my car died - just as t...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 awareness boundaries burnout capacity community compassion embarassment energy management gratitude habits humility learning life balance limits metaphor mindset pacing pattern priorities recovery refueling regulation resilience routine self-awareness self-care support teamwork vulnerabiulity warning signs

Near Miss Story and Reflection

Many years ago, as a second-year medical student, I stopped by the post office on my way to pathology to mail a certified letter. I had to take a different route than usual - one I knew well because it was my evening route for my study group. It was already 90 degrees with max humidity upon my ar...

by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 adaptation automation awareness behavior change change cognitive load compassion course correction grace growth habit humanity humility intentionality judgment learning memory mindfulness mistake neuropathways neuroplasticity patterning progress reflection resilience rewiring routine self-forgiveness self-regulation

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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

Tags: humility

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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