Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: authenticity
Showing 12 results:
The Penstock Paradox
I've been catching up on Lisa Rosenbaum's Not Otherwise Specified podcast series on primary care. https://not-otherwise-specified-podcast.nejm.org/e/when-no-ones-watching/
The final episode is titled When No One's Watching.
Near the end, Jonathan Han, a family physician and residency director, ta...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 23, 2026
alignment
artistry
authenticity
balance
burnout
caring
community
compassion
connection
contribution
creativity
encouragement
energy
engagement
excellence
flourishing
fulfillment
generosity
gratidtude
humanity
impact
influence
inspiration
intentionality
joy
kindness
leadership
legacy
meaning
mentorship
motivation
presence
purpose
purpose driven
regognition
rejuvenation
relationships
relection
renewal
resilience
restoration
service
significance
stewardship
sustainability
values
wellbeing
Cognitive Dissonance (From the Archives)
Growing up, my world consisted of good kids like Spook, Ryan, Barry, Jean, and Christy. Especially Jean, she would draw fun pictures and write nice things in a note folded up for me at school: "To Tonya, my friend. From: Jean, your friend." There were bad kids like Eddie - who would come to our s...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 07, 2026
acceptance
accountability
ambiguity
authenticity
balance
boundaries
change
character
cognitive dissonance
compassion
compelxity
complexity
conflict
conviction
courage
discernment
emotional intelligence
empathy
ethics
forgiveness
grief
growth
humanity
humility
integrity
judgment
leadership
learning
loyalty
maturity
medicine
nuance
perspective
physicians
principles
reconciliation
refleciotn
reflection
relationships
resilience
respect
sadness
self-awareness
trust
understanding
values
wisdom
John Changes the Question
A few weeks ago, I introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with. He’s a mid-career family physician facing a career dilemma I hear often:
“I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel I need to leave my current o...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
May 29, 2026
adaptation
agency
alignment
authenticity
awareness
burnout
career
change
clarity
coaching
compassion
connection
continuity
decision making
direction
discovery
engagement
fulfillment
growth
inquiry
insight
intention
leadership
listening
meaning
medicine
mindset
perspective
physicians
purpose
reflection
renewal
resilience
self-awareness
sustainability
teaching
transformation
transition
trust
values
Structure Creates Culture: Lessons from Launching the Alaska GME Council
Culture doesn’t just “happen.” It’s shaped — often by the structures we choose. That was clear to me during the recent launch of the Alaska GME Council, a 3½-hour sprint where structure set the tone for team identity, purpose, and action.
(And yes, it also showed up in my sleep — a classic sign o...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 28, 2025
action
adoption
agreements
authenticity
charter
connection
coordination
culture
decision-making
design
energy
engagement
foundation
funding
identity
layout
leadership
meeting
officers
outcomes
ownership
principles
priorities
purpose
reflection
structure
subcommittees
team
vision
voice
Story and Reflection: What Success Really Looks Like
As a new academic year begins—fresh name badges, new roles, different rhythms—I’ve been returning to a question I first heard from Dr. Kerri Palamara, a national leader in coaching in graduate medical education and Director of the Center for Physician Well-Being at Massachusetts General Hospital....
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 11, 2025
agency
alignment
aspirations
authenticity
awareness
belonging
career
clarity
coaching
compassion
connection
curiosity
fulfillment
growth
intention
meaning
navigation
pause
perspective
presence
purpose
redefinition
reflection
relationships
success
transformation
values
well-being
wholeness
The Award Not Won: Story and Reflection
It’s that season again. Graduation programs. Thank-you speeches. Awards. A flurry of new titles, public praise, and quiet appreciation.
We do this because it matters. Recognition is powerful. Appreciation even more so. But in the messiness of human systems, it doesn’t always land how we intend.
I...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 27, 2025
acknowledgment
alignment
appreciation
authenticity
belonging
care
celebration
community
compassion
connection
contribution
encouragement
equity
gratitude
humanity
humility
impact
inclusion
integrity
leadership
mentorship
mindfulness
presence
process
purpose
recognition
reflection
service
stewardship
support
systems
values
visibility
well-being
Confessions of a Former Night Owl: Story and Reflection on Identity, Change, and Quiet Growth
We often resist change when it feels like it threatens who we are. But not all change is self-abandonment.
Not long ago, someone shared that she felt a surprising amount of grief around changing—even when the change was meant to help a relationship work better. Authenticity was a deeply held valu...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
adaptation
adjustment
alignment
authenticity
change
commitment
curiosity
discovery
evolution
flexibility
grief
growth
habits
identity
intention
mindset
motivation
openness
patterns
resistance
selfhood
surprises
transformation
values
willingness
Purpose at the Crossroads: Story and Reflection
It’s at the crossroads—between opportunity and discernment—that purpose gets tested.
- A resident deciding between a desired fellowship and staying in a community they love that may not utilize that training.
- A faculty member torn between taking on a leadership role or focusing their energy on ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
alignment
authenticity
boundaries
calling
clarity
decision making
discernment
growth
humility
intentionality
leadership
long-term impact
meaning
opportunity
purpose
responsibility
self-awareness
service
sustainability
team based leadership
timing
transition
vocation
well-being
wisdom
The Power of a Smile: Story and Reflection
During the half-day virtual faculty development workshop that I co-led this past week, one thing stood out to me: my co-presenter, Dr. Rae Wright, was always smiling and actively present. Her smile looked so genuine—like she was truly enjoying hearing me speak and appreciating how I was presentin...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
appreciation
attentiveness
attunement
authenticity
belonging
co-facilitation
confidence
connection
culture
encouragement
encouragement culture
energy transfer
grace
light
micro-affirmation
nonverbal communication
positivity
presence
psychological safety
renewal
small gestures
smile
smile power
support
validation
warmth
zoom fatigue buffer
Performance Reflection
I often talk with residents about what I term "performance mode" and how it negatively impacts us. It's that feeling of playing a persona in order to fit the mold, earn praise, and be accepted.
We are socialized as we progress through premed and medical school to look for the approval of others -...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
alignment
anxiety
authenticity
autonomy
confidence
detachment
empowerment
essence
external approval
feedback
growth
identity
impact
insecurity
integrity
introspection
medical training
mindset
motivation
perception
performance mode
persona
presence
reflection
resilience
self-awareness
self-trust
self-worth
validation
worthiness
Rumble of Renovation, Story and Reflection
I know I talk a lot about renovation - that's because I have spent no less than 19 years living in three different houses undergoing renovation by my husband - who has a day job! Plus, the experiences are so rich with lessons! So I want to take you back a few years.
But first - Brene’ Brown defin...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
adaptability
authenticity
burnout
collaboration
communication
compromise
conflict resolution
courage
creativity
curiosity
emotional intelligence
growth mindset
healthcare
impasse
ingenuity
innovation
leadership
listening
mutual respect
partnership
perspective
problem-solving
reconstruction
redesign
renovation
resilience
rumble
sustainability
systems change
teamwork
vulnerability
Envy or Esteem Reflection
They're everywhere.
Physicians who own their own thriving practices.
Physicians who lead departments and hospital systems.
Physicians who lead well-being initiatives in effective, meaningful ways within their systems.
Physician coaches who work clinically full-time.
Physicians who have retired a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
acceptance
admiration
agency
appreciation
aspiration
authenticity
celebration
choices
comparison
confidence
discontent
envy
esteem
fulfillment
highlight reel
identity
inspiration
journey
joy
mindset
priorities
purpose
reflection
self-doubt
self-worth
shift
strenghts
uniqueness
values
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
