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Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.

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Two Travelers and A Mountain: Tale and Reflection
Two explorers set out on a journey to find a hidden village high in the mountains. Both were experienced travelers, used to well-marked paths, sturdy bridges, and reliable guides.   They started on different sides of the mountain which strattled two countries. The first traveler was started in an...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 acceptance adaptation agency awareness calm in chaos clarity comparison expectation reset expectations frustration internal shift journey mindset orientation perspective presence privilege purpose reframing resilience resistance surrender systems thinking transformation trial and error
Blindfolds: Story and Reflection
For better or worse (mostly better), I'm partly the result of having an older sister. When we were kids, she had brilliant ideas for games. One of her favorites? A blindfolded taste test. She claimed it was all in good fun—but let’s be honest, it was her sneaky way of trying to cure my “ridiculou...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 12, 2025 agency autonomy boundaries childhood coaching competence control curiosity empowerment encouragement experimentation growth humor individuality insight learning memory non-judgment persuasion playfulness psychological safety reflection relatedness resilience resistance self-discovery skepticism support trial and error trust
Reflection: What's Left?
A couple of years ago, at the BE Conference in Scottsdale, speaker and drama researcher, Cy Wakeman demonstrated a tool she called "Edit Your Story" to a room of hundreds of women physicians. She asked for show of hands of who worked with a difficult person on a regular basis. (I snapped the phot...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 11, 2025 agency boundaries choice clarity cognitive shift community compassion decision making detachment drama editing emotional intelligence empowerment facts groundedness interpretation mindset narrative next step ownership perception perspective reaction reality reframing resilience self-awareness self-regulation story editing workplace
Ziplining Snafu: Story and Reflection
When we explored Alaska with our 13-year-old before our move from Florida 17 years ago, we made sure to make it adventurous for her. We signed up for zip-lining in Ketchikan among the tall Western Hemlocks. I've never been a fan of heights (understatement of the year!), but I was determined. We r...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 10, 2025 action adventure agency behavior choice courage detachment embarassment emotion fear growth identity internalization labeling mindset naming narrative perception personal growth perspective reframing resilience self-awareness self-compassion self-definition self-talk shame transformation validation vulnerability
The Tale of Two Challenges
Challenge #1 The Hike. When my kids were both back in Alaska, they insisted that we climb the frontside of Flattop one rainy day. It's a popular local hike. It's my least favorite because I loathe the "scramble" at the top, where you create your own rock climbing path up. It's not particularly st...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 10, 2025 acceptance adaptability agency automatic thoughts challenge control discomfort emotions experience fear flexibility frustration growth humor memory making mindset narrative negativity ownership perspective reactivity reflection reframing resilience responsibility self-awareness self-compasssion self-talk storytelling thoughts transformation
Envy or Esteem Reflection
They're everywhere. Physicians who own their own thriving practices. Physicians who lead departments and hospital systems. Physicians who lead well-being initiatives in effective, meaningful ways within their systems. Physician coaches who work clinically full-time. Physicians who have retired a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 10, 2025 acceptance admiration agency appreciation aspiration authenticity celebration choices comparison confidence discontent envy esteem fulfillment highlight reel identity inspiration journey joy mindset priorities purpose reflection self-doubt self-worth shift strenghts uniqueness values
Stress Reflection
This week, I invite you to look at a particular stressor you are currently facing, just faced, or anticipate facing. At first glance, how is it a threat? When you look through this lens of what's at risk? Notice how that feels. For me, I notice an increased intensity in my heartbeat and a little ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 08, 2025 adaptability agency awareness breath challenge clarity empowerment mindset neurobiology presence problem-solving reframe regulation resilience resources response shift stress threat
Story Reflection
This past week, I listened to a webinar featuring Dr. Paul Chelminski from UNC - Chapel Hill (and my former faculty advisor in the CHARM GME Wellbeing Course). He stated that much of our discontent in medicine comes from taking too much refuge in the idealized version of medicine. (My interpretat...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor — Jun 08, 2025 acceptance advocacy agency aspiration boundaries compassion connection discontent gratitude grounding idealism inspiration mindset perspective presence purpose realignment reality reflefction satisfaction

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
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