Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: wisdom
Showing 12 results:
Cognitive Dissonance (From the Archives)
Growing up, my world consisted of good kids like Spook, Ryan, Barry, Jean, and Christy. Especially Jean, she would draw fun pictures and write nice things in a note folded up for me at school: "To Tonya, my friend. From: Jean, your friend." There were bad kids like Eddie - who would come to our s...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 07, 2026
acceptance
accountability
ambiguity
authenticity
balance
boundaries
change
character
cognitive dissonance
compassion
compelxity
complexity
conflict
conviction
courage
discernment
emotional intelligence
empathy
ethics
forgiveness
grief
growth
humanity
humility
integrity
judgment
leadership
learning
loyalty
maturity
medicine
nuance
perspective
physicians
principles
reconciliation
refleciotn
reflection
relationships
resilience
respect
sadness
self-awareness
trust
understanding
values
wisdom
The Hidden Curriculum of a Career
Over the past several weeks, I’ve introduced you to John, a fictional physician whose story reflects common themes many physicians wrestle with.
He’s a mid-career family physician struggling with a career dilemma I hear often: “I’ve never stayed in one job more than x number of years. I feel like...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 06, 2026
adaptation
appreciation
becoming
career
clarity
communication
community
conribution
culture
development
discernment
evolution
experience
expertise
fulfillment
gratitude
growth
impact
insight
intentionality
knowledge
leadership
learning
legacy
maturity
meaning
medicine
mentorship
operations
perspective
physicians
progress
purpose
recognition
reflection
relationships
renewal
resilience
self-awareness
stewardship
sustainability
systems
teaching
teamwork
transformation
wisdom
Marine Survival Weekend (From the Archives)
As a faculty member of the Alaska Family Medicine Residency program, I had my share of teaching during our infamous Wilderness Medicine Weekend excursion. In January, it involved snow cave construction, and in May, it involved marine safety. The first spring, I participated with 2 other faculty m...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Feb 23, 2026
accountability
adaptability
alaska
awareness
education
embarassment
experience
growth
humility
insight
leadership
learning
medicine
mentorship
perspective
professionalism
reflection
reframing
residency
resilience
responsibility
safety
teaching
teamwork
trust
wilderness
wisdom
The Emerging Choice: Staying for the Long Game or Moving On Gracefully
And just like that, it’s 2026!
The perfect time for the final piece in a five-part series exploring what helps when you care deeply about something, your influence no longer influences, and meaningful change seems unlikely.
Over the past several weeks, I’ve shared a few different approaches to ha...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jan 09, 2026
abundance
academia
agency
alignment
calling
choice
clarity
coaching
commitment
completion
culture
departure
discernment
equanimity
fulfillment
hope
identity
influence
integrity
leadership
legacy
maturity
meaning
medicine
ownership
patience
physicians
purpose
renewal
resilience
scarcity
stewardship
sustainability
systems
timing
transition
values
wellbeing
wisdom
Holding Pattern
This is Week 4 of a 5-part series exploring those moments when you care deeply about an issue, and nothing you do seems to move the needle.
So far, we’ve looked at three different approaches to that situation: • Week 1: Redefining success when outcomes aren’t changing • Week 2: Navigating real co...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jan 09, 2026
academia
agency
alignment
ambiguity
becoming
belonging
calling
choice
clarity
coaching
dignity
discernment
endurance
engagement
equilibrium
fulfillment
holding
identity
leadership
liminality
maturity
meaning
medicine
middle
patience
physicians
presence
process
purpose
resilience
restraint
steadiness
tension
threshold
timing
transition
uncertainty
urgency
values
wisdom
worth
When Influence Stops Working: Acceptance Without Endorsement
This is Part 3 of a 5-part series exploring what helps when influence has stopped working. Nothing moves. No matter how much skill, strategy, data, coalition-building, or heart you bring. And it’s something you care deeply about.
Earlier pieces focused on redefining success and navigating constra...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jan 09, 2026
academia
acceptance
adaptation
agency
alignment
boundaries
bureaucracy
burnout
clarity
coaching
constraint
control
detachment
discernment
dynamics
dysfunction
emotionality
endorsement
energy
equanimity
expectations
frustration
influence
leadership
letting go
maturity
medicine
ownership
predictability
prioritization
reafctivity
reality
regulation
resilience
sobriety
stewardship
sustainability
systems
tolerance
wisdom
Leaders and Legacy Reflection
When physicians or faculty leaders are struggling in their roles—or with certain parts of them—I often ask:
"When you think of a leader you admire, what qualities stand out?"
They usually name things such as integrity. Strength. Clinical wisdom. Courage. Kindness. Collaboration.
And almost always...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
admiration
awareness
balance
boundaries
capacity
choice
clarity
courage
decline
dedication
delegation
discomfort
expansion
growth
impact
influence
integrity
kindness
leaders
leadership
legacy
modeling
possibility
presence
purpose
rolemodeling
streamline
strength
sustainability
tension
wisdom
Purpose at the Crossroads: Story and Reflection
It’s at the crossroads—between opportunity and discernment—that purpose gets tested.
- A resident deciding between a desired fellowship and staying in a community they love that may not utilize that training.
- A faculty member torn between taking on a leadership role or focusing their energy on ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
alignment
authenticity
boundaries
calling
clarity
decision making
discernment
growth
humility
intentionality
leadership
long-term impact
meaning
opportunity
purpose
responsibility
self-awareness
service
sustainability
team based leadership
timing
transition
vocation
well-being
wisdom
Story and Reflection: Mining for Value
Recently, I noticed that a member of our team had quietly pulled back. I knew she had experience—she’d been introduced as someone who had worked with universities, served as a legislative liaison, and helped stand up GME programs. She had consistently offered thoughtful perspectives, often seeing...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
awareness
confidence
confidence without arrogance
contribution over ego
curiosity
deep listening
dignity
drawing out strengths
experience
experience matters
expertise
hidden
hidden assets
hidden strength
honoring the whole person
humility
inclusive leadership
influence beyond title
invitational leadership
leadership
legacy
listening
mining
mining for gold
presence
quiet contributors
reactivation
recognition
relational leadership
respectul curiosity
storytelling
strength
team awareness
undervalued
undervalued expertise
unseen
unseen wisdom
wisdom
The Extra Mile - Story and Reflection
Recently, I’ve been supporting my mom from afar as she’s gone through a complicated health issue. Like many patients, she didn’t show up with a single neat explanation. She had two separate issues—Occam’s razor didn’t apply. That alone created delays and misdirection, but this story isn’t about w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
bandwidth
care
care over efficiency
clarity
connection
discernment
effort
empathy
experience informed action
family perspective
generosity
going above and beyond
gratitude
groundedness
healing
healing moments
humanity
intention
leadership
meaningful
meaningful effort
medicine
pacing
perspective
physician humanity
presence
prioritization
professionalism
relational medicine
right effort right moment
silent leadership
timing
wisdom
Reflection: Passing it On
This past week, I had the great honor of sitting in a (virtual) room with five individuals who have dedicated decades of their careers to leadership in graduate medical education (GME).
The idea for this gathering started one morning when I woke up thinking about how tough leading in GME can be. ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
collaborative growth
collective wisdom
community
connection
cultivation
honoring
humility
impact
influence
inspiration
intergenerational learning
knowledge transfer
leadership
legacy
longevity
meaning making
mentorship
reflective practice
ripple effect
slow leadership
stewardship
storytelling
transparency
vision casting
vulnerability
wisdom
Filtering Voices: Story and Reflection
Like many medical students, I went back and forth on what specialty I really loved. OB/GYN? Sports Medicine? Internal Medicine? Rheum? Endocrine? Psychiatry? Adolescent Medicine? (Yes, all of them!)
I also had a fantastic role model in my dad, an outpatient family doc beloved by his patients. And...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
affirmation
belonging
choice
clarity
compassion
confidence
courage
decision making
doubt
encouragement
identity
influence
insecurity
integrity
internal guidance
judgment
medical culture
mentorship
perception
power dynamics
purpose
reassurance
reflection
respect
self-trust
soundtracks
validation
values
voice
wisdom
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
