Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
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The River Gets Wider
Just prior to marrying my husband, his dad handed us an article torn from a magazine. It used the imagery of two rivers coming together to describe marriage.
The gist that stuck with my young mind was:1. Don’t be shocked by the rapids. They’re a natural outcome of two forces merging.2. Marriage w...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 25, 2026
acceptance
adaptability
adaptation
adjustment
balance
becoming
career
change
coaching
commitment
confidence
courage
endurance
expectations
flexibility
gratitude
growth
hope
imperfection
joy
leadership
life transitions
marriage
medicine
mindset
navigation
partnership
perseverance
perspective
physicians
preparation
presence
progress
purpose
rapids
recovery
reflection
relationships
renewal
resilience
self-copmpassion
stability
strength
transformation
transition
trust
uncertainty
wellbeing
whitewater
The Bump Nobody Warned You About
A webinar this week about the evolution of a rural residency program inspired this week's reflections. In addition to the successes and growing pains, the thing that caught my attention was the sheer number of changes they had both created and endured.
In just 11 years, the program had 4 Chief Me...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 10, 2026
acceptance
adaptability
adaptation
agility
alignment
awareness
change
change management
collaboration
commitment
communication
complexity
continuity
culture
endurance
evolution
expectations
flexibility
growth
healthcare
innovation
leadership
leadership development
medicine
mindset
mission
mission focus
navigation
organizational health
organizations
perseverance
perspective
preparedness
puprose
reflection
residency
resilience
rural
stability
stewarship
sustainability
systems
teamwork
transformation
transition
trust
turbulence
turnover
uncertainty
Suitcases, Constraints, and Where Possibility Lives
Last week, I wrote about a familiar moment in medicine: when you’ve used every skillful form of influence you have (data, stories, coalitions, reframing) and nothing moves. When effort stops matching outcome, (high importance, low control, and your influence stalls), there are a few ways forward....
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 12, 2025
acceptance
adaptation
agency
burnout
constraint
control
creativity
energy
flexibility
impact
influence
leadership
limits
navigation
possibility
problem-solving
reframing
resilience
strategy
systems
Learning to Hold the Tension
The majority of us in medicine are in it because we care. But sometimes caring means saying “no.”
We say no to one more initiative when our team is already stretched.
We say no to a patient’s request when it’s not in their best interest.
We say no to ourselves when we know we can’t do it all.
...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 07, 2025
acceptance
adjustment
agency
alignment
awareness
balance
boundaries
boundedness
caring
clarity
compassion
connection
courage
deliberation
disappointment
discernment
equanimity
ethics
harmony
integrity
intentionality
leadership
navigation
polarity
presence
prioritization
reflection
resilience
responsibility
restraint
self-care
tension
Story and Reflection: What Success Really Looks Like
As a new academic year begins—fresh name badges, new roles, different rhythms—I’ve been returning to a question I first heard from Dr. Kerri Palamara, a national leader in coaching in graduate medical education and Director of the Center for Physician Well-Being at Massachusetts General Hospital....
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 11, 2025
agency
alignment
aspirations
authenticity
awareness
belonging
career
clarity
coaching
compassion
connection
curiosity
fulfillment
growth
intention
meaning
navigation
pause
perspective
presence
purpose
redefinition
reflection
relationships
success
transformation
values
well-being
wholeness
Balancing Reflection
I received two important pieces of advice once while taking an ocean paddle boarding course. I will cover the first of those today and the other in a future reflection.
The advice: As soon as you stand upright on the board, put your paddle in the water and start moving. It's like a bike - You wou...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
action
adaptability
balance
burnout
commitment
courage
curiosity
decision making
experimentation
flexbility
forward motion
growth
imperfection
learning
metaphor
momentum
movement
navigation
progress
purpose
readiness
reassessment
recovery
reflection
rejuvenation
resilience
risk
self-leadership
timing
uncertainty
Anniversaries and Analogies Reflection
Just prior to marrying the man in this photo (throwback to big hair 😂), his dad handed us an article torn out of a magazine. It used comparative imagery of two rivers coming together to describe marriage. The takeaway gist in my young mind was 1. Don't be shocked by the rapids, which are a natura...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
acceptance
adaptation
celebration
challenge
change
curiosity
emotions
endurance
evolution
forewarning
growth
imposter syndrome
journey
marriage
metaphor
mindset
navigation
partnership
perspective
phases
preparation
reflection
relationships
resilience
self-doubt
support
transformation
transition
uncertainty
whitewater
Navigation Story and Reflection
Years ago, my young nephew was carpooling to school with us in my new Honda Odyssey minivan that had my first navigation system. From the captain chair behind me, he exclaimed, "Oh COOL Aunt Tonya! You have a force field?!" It took me a minute to realize he was talking about my dashboard location...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
amygdala
analogy
boundaries
calm
childhood
control
countertransference
curiosity
detachment
emotions
empathy
forcefield
humor
imagination
inner-peace
mindset
narrative
navigation
perspective
protection
reaction
reflection
reframe
regulation
resilience
road-rage
self-awareness
triggers
understanding
visualization
wonder
VW Bug Reflection
For this week's reflection, I invite you to picture a 4-seater car. My friend, Dr Sasha Shillcutt, likes to talk about balancing/integrating life as the driver. You occupy the driver's seat (hopefully!), and then you have one other front-seat passenger and 2 back-seat passengers.
Here's my take. ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 08, 2025
awareness
balance
boundaries
capacity
choice
clarity
commitment
control
decision-making
discernment
energy
focus
integration
intentionality
mindfulness
navigation
priorities
reflection
responsibility
time
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
