Meet the Coach Testimonials Physician Growth Framework Self-Coaching Program Resource Hub
← Back to all posts

Anniversaries and Analogies Reflection

by Dr. Tonya Caylor
Jun 10, 2025

Just prior to marrying the man in this photo (throwback to big hair 😂), his dad handed us an article torn out of a magazine. It used comparative imagery of two rivers coming together to describe marriage. The takeaway gist in my young mind was 1. Don't be shocked by the rapids, which are a natural outcome of two merging forces. 2. Marriage will have twists and turns, rocks and islands to circumnavigate, but as it moves downstream given the proper circumstances, it becomes wider, deeper, and stronger.

Now, I've always been a bit idealistic and was pretty certain it would be easy sailing, so really thought the part about the rapids were a bit dramatic. But, wow, how important it was for me to have that forewarning. When rough times came, I didn't make them mean we shouldn't be married.

As I reflect on this as our anniversary coming up in a couple of days, I find it fitting that the timing aligns perfectly with the time of year I'm asked to give a presentation entitled "Transitions." I've been honored to give versions of it in various settings from a residency graduation to a local chapter ACP's Virtual Doctor's Lounge.

Transitions, even the desired ones, are times of uncertainty with a vast array of competing emotions. And, as such, there are predictable things we can accept and prepare for - self-doubt and impostor tendencies grow strong, and things are more clunky and awkward than they were just a few weeks prior.

So, whether you're becoming a senior resident, a new attending, accepting a new role, taking a promotion, or working short-staffed - it may feel like a long patch of rapids.

The great thing about rapids is you become more skilled and less freaked out the more you go through. You don't have to make it mean that you're in the wrong place or something has gone terribly wrong. You know you can get through them.

Heck, maybe you even can relax into it and enjoy being out of the mundane for a bit? "Interesting, I wonder what this next phase will turn out like on the other side. What will the next version of this river look like?"

But for now, all of you in the whitewater, pull on your safety gear, focus your attention, and try to find joy in the bumpy journey. Read more on transitions here: https://www.joyinfamilymedicine.com/blog/transitioning-well-tips-for-physicians

Responses

Join the conversation
t("newsletters.loading")
Loading...
Team Culture: Boundaries, Generosity, and Trust
For me, Fall is closely associated with sports. College football, one of the primary ones, but also volleyball after years of being a volleyball mom.   I have a few friends who find sports a bit pedestrian, too focused on competition, and something they’ve never really understood the appeal of. I sometimes wonder if they miss what I love about them.   To me, sports are this remarkable microenvi...
Brads Over Lectures
When our youngest daughter was about four, she was watching my husband rescreen a door. She stood there studying what he was doing and asked, “What’s that, Dad? Are you putting in brads, Dad?” I remember thinking, What’s a brad? She knew because she had spent a lot of time following her dad around while he built, fixed, repaired, and figured things out. He didn’t sit our daughters down for form...
Acting Out of Character
A common tension came up during a coaching conversation with a brilliant, deeply thoughtful coachee. With a lot of diligent work, she has grown more comfortable being and showing her authentic self rather than holding back or becoming someone different for other people’s comfort. Now she is facing situations in which being heard may require her to present herself and her ideas differently. She ...

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Footer Logo
Terms Privacy Disclaimer Contact us Login Personal Code of Ethics
Powered by Kajabi

Stay Connected


Join my mailing list to receive free weekly tips and insights!