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Anniversaries and Analogies Reflection

by Dr. Tonya Caylor
Jun 10, 2025

Just prior to marrying the man in this photo (throwback to big hair 😂), his dad handed us an article torn out of a magazine. It used comparative imagery of two rivers coming together to describe marriage. The takeaway gist in my young mind was 1. Don't be shocked by the rapids, which are a natural outcome of two merging forces. 2. Marriage will have twists and turns, rocks and islands to circumnavigate, but as it moves downstream given the proper circumstances, it becomes wider, deeper, and stronger.

Now, I've always been a bit idealistic and was pretty certain it would be easy sailing, so really thought the part about the rapids were a bit dramatic. But, wow, how important it was for me to have that forewarning. When rough times came, I didn't make them mean we shouldn't be married.

As I reflect on this as our anniversary coming up in a couple of days, I find it fitting that the timing aligns perfectly with the time of year I'm asked to give a presentation entitled "Transitions." I've been honored to give versions of it in various settings from a residency graduation to a local chapter ACP's Virtual Doctor's Lounge.

Transitions, even the desired ones, are times of uncertainty with a vast array of competing emotions. And, as such, there are predictable things we can accept and prepare for - self-doubt and impostor tendencies grow strong, and things are more clunky and awkward than they were just a few weeks prior.

So, whether you're becoming a senior resident, a new attending, accepting a new role, taking a promotion, or working short-staffed - it may feel like a long patch of rapids.

The great thing about rapids is you become more skilled and less freaked out the more you go through. You don't have to make it mean that you're in the wrong place or something has gone terribly wrong. You know you can get through them.

Heck, maybe you even can relax into it and enjoy being out of the mundane for a bit? "Interesting, I wonder what this next phase will turn out like on the other side. What will the next version of this river look like?"

But for now, all of you in the whitewater, pull on your safety gear, focus your attention, and try to find joy in the bumpy journey. Read more on transitions here: https://www.joyinfamilymedicine.com/blog/transitioning-well-tips-for-physicians

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