Header Logo
Joy in Family Medicine Home Pillar Page Resource Hub
← Back to all posts

Anniversaries and Analogies Reflection

by Dr. Tonya Caylor
Jun 10, 2025

Just prior to marrying the man in this photo (throwback to big hair 😂), his dad handed us an article torn out of a magazine. It used comparative imagery of two rivers coming together to describe marriage. The takeaway gist in my young mind was 1. Don't be shocked by the rapids, which are a natural outcome of two merging forces. 2. Marriage will have twists and turns, rocks and islands to circumnavigate, but as it moves downstream given the proper circumstances, it becomes wider, deeper, and stronger.

Now, I've always been a bit idealistic and was pretty certain it would be easy sailing, so really thought the part about the rapids were a bit dramatic. But, wow, how important it was for me to have that forewarning. When rough times came, I didn't make them mean we shouldn't be married.

As I reflect on this as our anniversary coming up in a couple of days, I find it fitting that the timing aligns perfectly with the time of year I'm asked to give a presentation entitled "Transitions." I've been honored to give versions of it in various settings from a residency graduation to a local chapter ACP's Virtual Doctor's Lounge.

Transitions, even the desired ones, are times of uncertainty with a vast array of competing emotions. And, as such, there are predictable things we can accept and prepare for - self-doubt and impostor tendencies grow strong, and things are more clunky and awkward than they were just a few weeks prior.

So, whether you're becoming a senior resident, a new attending, accepting a new role, taking a promotion, or working short-staffed - it may feel like a long patch of rapids.

The great thing about rapids is you become more skilled and less freaked out the more you go through. You don't have to make it mean that you're in the wrong place or something has gone terribly wrong. You know you can get through them.

Heck, maybe you even can relax into it and enjoy being out of the mundane for a bit? "Interesting, I wonder what this next phase will turn out like on the other side. What will the next version of this river look like?"

But for now, all of you in the whitewater, pull on your safety gear, focus your attention, and try to find joy in the bumpy journey. Read more on transitions here: https://www.joyinfamilymedicine.com/blog/transitioning-well-tips-for-physicians

Responses

Join the conversation
t("newsletters.loading")
Loading...
Responsibility Revisited: Story and Reflection
We don’t always talk about guilt in medicine unless it’s framed as toxic or as a byproduct of impossible systems. But some guilt is earned. Some of it’s useful. The kind that nudges us when we’ve strayed from our values. And some is not. What follows is a story out of several that came to mine from my own training after reading Dr. James Schindler’s piece, A Divine Slap. Mine wasn’t dramatic. B...
Power of Conversation, Story and Invitation
A thoughtful reader recently wrote in and asked me: “How did you build the strong relationships you have with specialists?” At first, I wasn’t sure how to answer. My brain went to the tactical: referrals, shared patients, thank-yous. (These are still paramount. Doing your due diligence with workups, sending thoughtful referrals, and expressing appreciation to your partners in a patient’s care, ...
Right Pause, Right Time Story and Reflection
Years ago, I was leading a medical team in Southeast Asia after the tsunami. Infrastructure was gone, local health workers were either missing or tending to their own communities, and our team, hosted by a local NGO, was running long, hot, and emotionally heavy days. One morning, something was off. Normally steady and cohesive, team members were sharp-edged, drained, disjointed. The local lead ...

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Footer Logo
Terms Privacy Disclaimer Contact us Login Personal Code of Ethics
Powered by Kajabi

Stay Connected


Join my mailing list to receive free weekly tips and insights!