Meet the Coach Testimonials Physician Growth Framework Self-Coaching Program Resource Hub
← Back to all posts

Anniversaries and Analogies Reflection

by Dr. Tonya Caylor
Jun 10, 2025

Just prior to marrying the man in this photo (throwback to big hair πŸ˜‚), his dad handed us an article torn out of a magazine. It used comparative imagery of two rivers coming together to describe marriage. The takeaway gist in my young mind was 1. Don't be shocked by the rapids, which are a natural outcome of two merging forces. 2. Marriage will have twists and turns, rocks and islands to circumnavigate, but as it moves downstream given the proper circumstances, it becomes wider, deeper, and stronger.

Now, I've always been a bit idealistic and was pretty certain it would be easy sailing, so really thought the part about the rapids were a bit dramatic. But, wow, how important it was for me to have that forewarning. When rough times came, I didn't make them mean we shouldn't be married.

As I reflect on this as our anniversary coming up in a couple of days, I find it fitting that the timing aligns perfectly with the time of year I'm asked to give a presentation entitled "Transitions." I've been honored to give versions of it in various settings from a residency graduation to a local chapter ACP's Virtual Doctor's Lounge.

Transitions, even the desired ones, are times of uncertainty with a vast array of competing emotions. And, as such, there are predictable things we can accept and prepare for - self-doubt and impostor tendencies grow strong, and things are more clunky and awkward than they were just a few weeks prior.

So, whether you're becoming a senior resident, a new attending, accepting a new role, taking a promotion, or working short-staffed - it may feel like a long patch of rapids.

The great thing about rapids is you become more skilled and less freaked out the more you go through. You don't have to make it mean that you're in the wrong place or something has gone terribly wrong. You know you can get through them.

Heck, maybe you even can relax into it and enjoy being out of the mundane for a bit? "Interesting, I wonder what this next phase will turn out like on the other side. What will the next version of this river look like?"

But for now, all of you in the whitewater, pull on your safety gear, focus your attention, and try to find joy in the bumpy journey. Read more on transitions here: https://www.joyinfamilymedicine.com/blog/transitioning-well-tips-for-physicians

Responses

Join the conversation
t("newsletters.loading")
Loading...
Childhood Courage
In our early days as a family with one car, my husband's boss would pick him up for work up on a motorcycle. He kept the spare helmet at our house. Our oldest, a toddler at the time, had an instinctual and intense fear of the helmet -- even when Mark was wearing it (wise beyond her years?). This became a sticking point one day when we had locked ourselves out. We spied our keys on the desk thro...
Say It Again
Recently, something happened in a meeting that used to bother me, but now I find it fascinating. I was catching a colleague up who had missed the previous meeting. We had left one decision unresolved: where to place a particular talk. I mentioned the option we had discussed and asked for her take. As she began weighing the pros and cons, another member of our small group chimed in. β€œYou know wh...
What Renovation Taught Me About Teams
My husband and I are back in the messy middle of building. We are not a strangers to it. We completely renovated a historic home over seven years and our Alaskan home over ten, with my husband acting as contractor, doing the work he enjoyed and subbing the rest out. And now, we’re building remotely, which is a whole new layer of complexity. There are a lot of decisions, obstacles, differences o...

Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections

Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Footer Logo
Terms Privacy Disclaimer Contact us Login Personal Code of Ethics
Powered by Kajabi

Stay Connected


Join my mailing list to receive free weekly tips and insights!