Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: integrity
Showing 10 results:
When Influence Stops Influencing
Every physician leader I coach eventually reaches the same moment. They’ve done the work: gathered data, built coalitions, shared meaningful stories, aligned it to the core corporate values, used every bit of their Crucial Conversations skill set, emotionally intelligenced the nuances, and framed...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 10, 2025
acceptance
agency
alignment
boundaries
burnout
change
clarity
coalition
community
connection
discernment
energy
exhaustion
frustration
influence
integrity
leadership
mentorship
metrics
perspective
process
purpose
reality
reflection
regulation
resistance
strategy
systems
values
Providing Entertainment in Lane 1
Last week a few things converged and culminated in me taking something head on that I’d been avoiding.
First, spectating an Ironman a couple weeks ago. There’s something about being around real athletes who train hard and perform at that level. Inspiring for sure. That swim tho’…
Second, planning...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 10, 2025
awareness
beginner
commitment
confidence
courage
discipline
discomfort
embarassment
fear
growth
humility
improvement
inspiration
integrity
learning
mindset
motivation
persistence
practice
progress
reflection
resilience
self-talk
swimming
technique
vulnerability
Learning to Hold the Tension
The majority of us in medicine are in it because we care. But sometimes caring means saying “no.”
We say no to one more initiative when our team is already stretched.
We say no to a patient’s request when it’s not in their best interest.
We say no to ourselves when we know we can’t do it all.
...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Nov 07, 2025
acceptance
adjustment
agency
alignment
awareness
balance
boundaries
boundedness
caring
clarity
compassion
connection
courage
deliberation
disappointment
discernment
equanimity
ethics
harmony
integrity
intentionality
leadership
navigation
polarity
presence
prioritization
reflection
resilience
responsibility
restraint
self-care
tension
When Justice Meets the Judge
The shadow side of good values in medicine...
I’ve learned that even good values have edges. Justice, for me, especially.
We talk a lot about values in medicine: integrity, compassion, excellence, justice. But I’ve learned that even our best values have a "shadow side". Sometimes, even justice ne...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Oct 24, 2025
alignment
awareness
balance
boundaries
burnout
clarity
compassion
control
criticism
discernment
distortion
ego
evolution
excellence
faith
grace
humanity
humility
imbalance
integrity
judge
judgment
justice
learning
martyrdom
outrage
perfectionism
perspective
proportion
reflection
responsibility
rigidity
self-justification
Responsibility Revisited: Story and Reflection
We don’t always talk about guilt in medicine unless it’s framed as toxic or as a byproduct of impossible systems. But some guilt is earned. Some of it’s useful. The kind that nudges us when we’ve strayed from our values. And some is not.
What follows is a story out of several that came to mine fr...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 08, 2025
adaptation
alignment
awareness
character
conscience
deicision
ethics
fatigue
growth
guilt
integrity
judgment
learning
medicine
observation
reflection
residency
responsibility
self-correction
values
The Award Not Won: Story and Reflection
It’s that season again. Graduation programs. Thank-you speeches. Awards. A flurry of new titles, public praise, and quiet appreciation.
We do this because it matters. Recognition is powerful. Appreciation even more so. But in the messiness of human systems, it doesn’t always land how we intend.
I...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 27, 2025
acknowledgment
alignment
appreciation
authenticity
belonging
care
celebration
community
compassion
connection
contribution
encouragement
equity
gratitude
humanity
humility
impact
inclusion
integrity
leadership
mentorship
mindfulness
presence
process
purpose
recognition
reflection
service
stewardship
support
systems
values
visibility
well-being
Leaders and Legacy Reflection
When physicians or faculty leaders are struggling in their roles—or with certain parts of them—I often ask:
"When you think of a leader you admire, what qualities stand out?"
They usually name things such as integrity. Strength. Clinical wisdom. Courage. Kindness. Collaboration.
And almost always...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
admiration
awareness
balance
boundaries
capacity
choice
clarity
courage
decline
dedication
delegation
discomfort
expansion
growth
impact
influence
integrity
kindness
leaders
leadership
legacy
modeling
possibility
presence
purpose
rolemodeling
streamline
strength
sustainability
tension
wisdom
Filtering Voices: Story and Reflection
Like many medical students, I went back and forth on what specialty I really loved. OB/GYN? Sports Medicine? Internal Medicine? Rheum? Endocrine? Psychiatry? Adolescent Medicine? (Yes, all of them!)
I also had a fantastic role model in my dad, an outpatient family doc beloved by his patients. And...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
affirmation
belonging
choice
clarity
compassion
confidence
courage
decision making
doubt
encouragement
identity
influence
insecurity
integrity
internal guidance
judgment
medical culture
mentorship
perception
power dynamics
purpose
reassurance
reflection
respect
self-trust
soundtracks
validation
values
voice
wisdom
Performance Reflection
I often talk with residents about what I term "performance mode" and how it negatively impacts us. It's that feeling of playing a persona in order to fit the mold, earn praise, and be accepted.
We are socialized as we progress through premed and medical school to look for the approval of others -...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 11, 2025
alignment
anxiety
authenticity
autonomy
confidence
detachment
empowerment
essence
external approval
feedback
growth
identity
impact
insecurity
integrity
introspection
medical training
mindset
motivation
perception
performance mode
persona
presence
reflection
resilience
self-awareness
self-trust
self-worth
validation
worthiness
The In-Between Reflection
A story with three invitations for you to reflect. A few months ago, a friend asked if I would consider a small part-time role that seemed exciting in some respects and daunting in others. (Plus, the potential to be distracting even). I quickly did the reflex thing that I rarely do - I said, "Of ...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 08, 2025
alignment
balance
boundaries
calling
centering
clarity
commitment
decision
discernment
integrity
mentorship
peace
priorities
process
purpose
reflection
service
surrender
waiting
wisdom
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
