Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
Lessons, lightbulb moments, and honest reflections from life inside and outside medicine - served with a side of perspective.
Tags: frustration
Showing 11 results:
When Influence Stops Influencing
Every physician leader I coach eventually reaches the same moment. They’ve done the work: gathered data, built coalitions, shared meaningful stories, aligned it to the core corporate values, used every bit of their Crucial Conversations skill set, emotionally intelligenced the nuances, and framed...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Dec 10, 2025
acceptance
agency
alignment
boundaries
burnout
change
clarity
coalition
community
connection
discernment
energy
exhaustion
frustration
influence
integrity
leadership
mentorship
metrics
perspective
process
purpose
reality
reflection
regulation
resistance
strategy
systems
values
Quiet Quitting, Nike’s Reframe, and the Real Risk in Medicine
Quiet quitting is no longer just a workplace buzzword. A new study in Family Medicine described how residency leaders are seeing disengagement, professionalism concerns, and strategic “time protection” among trainees. The authors traced this disengagement back to multiple causes: generational shi...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Sep 13, 2025
burnout
challenges
collaboration
commitment
communication
cringe culture
discernment
disengagement
education
efficiency
effort
faculty
frustration
generations
growth
mentorship
motivation
patient care
professionalism
quiet quitting
rebranding
reflection
residency
selectivity
sustainability
systemic pressures
time protection
trainees
trust
work values
workplace
Beyond Labels: Story and Reflection
It’s not infrequent that I’m in conversation with a faculty member who’s frustrated with one or two residents they see as lazy or disengaged. Those moments take me right back to how I sometimes felt a decade ago, when I was burned out in my core faculty role. I remember the intensity of that frus...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Aug 22, 2025
barriers
burnout
connection
conversations
criticism
curiosity
data
defesiveness
drive
efficiency
energy
engagement
exhuastion
experience
feedback
frustration
gaps
growth
immersion
interviewing
labels
language
learning
minset
motivation
nuance
patience
perspective
procrastination
quality
rapport
reflection
remediation
repitition
resources
responsibility
safety
strengths
support
trust
understanding
Behind the Blame: Story and Reflection
In medicine and academic leadership, change is constant. But the kind we choose feels different than the kind we don’t. Lately, I’ve found myself thinking about what lies beneath the surface when frustration rises. Sometimes what looks like resistance or blame turns out to be something else entir...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jul 24, 2025
acceptance
blame
change
clarity
collaboration
conversation
frustration
grief
honesty
insight
leadership
loss
mission
purpose
reality
recognition
resistance
softening
transition
values
How We Think Shapes What We See: Story and Reflection
When I mentioned last month that I was heading to Las Vegas to see the Eagles play in the Sphere, more than one person responded with a look of surprise, post-Super Bowl: “You’re going to a football game?”
That moment—a simple case of mistaken reference—got me thinking about how our assumptions a...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
alignment
assumptions
awareness
beliefs
clarity
coaching
communication
culture
development
dynamics
evaluations
expectations
feedback
frustration
growth
insight
interpretation
mindsets
modeling
perception
reflection
reframing
support
trust
understanding
Two Travelers and A Mountain: Tale and Reflection
Two explorers set out on a journey to find a hidden village high in the mountains. Both were experienced travelers, used to well-marked paths, sturdy bridges, and reliable guides.
They started on different sides of the mountain which strattled two countries. The first traveler was started in an...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 12, 2025
acceptance
adaptation
agency
awareness
calm in chaos
clarity
comparison
expectation reset
expectations
frustration
internal shift
journey
mindset
orientation
perspective
presence
privilege
purpose
reframing
resilience
resistance
surrender
systems thinking
transformation
trial and error
Running Up Mountains Story and Reflection
Have you ever been isolated during a race? Me neither, until I was. I participated in a small fundraiser weeknight race after work in late May several years back. It was my first (and last) mountain race.
It was a race up "Peak 3" in the Alaska Chugach Range, with the finish line at the top, smal...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
accomplishment
comparison
compassion
disappointment
disorientation
empathy
exhaustion
expectations
experience
fear
fear response
frustration
growth
humility
identity
isolation
journey
mentorship
metaphor
mindset
normalization
overwhelm
parallel
perseverance
reflection
resilience
self-compassion
transition
uncertainty
vulnerability
The Tale of Two Challenges
Challenge #1 The Hike. When my kids were both back in Alaska, they insisted that we climb the frontside of Flattop one rainy day. It's a popular local hike. It's my least favorite because I loathe the "scramble" at the top, where you create your own rock climbing path up. It's not particularly st...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
acceptance
adaptability
agency
automatic thoughts
challenge
control
discomfort
emotions
experience
fear
flexibility
frustration
growth
humor
memory making
mindset
narrative
negativity
ownership
perspective
reactivity
reflection
reframing
resilience
responsibility
self-awareness
self-compasssion
self-talk
storytelling
thoughts
transformation
Runners Mindset: Story and Reflection
I took training very seriously for my first 1/2 marathon (the Mayor's half in Anchorage) back in 2016. My friend Lana (wearing the blue tank) was a seasoned runner who thought my schedule was overly structured and intense. She'd run several halves and a few marathons. Still, I insisted, that we s...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 10, 2025
accountability
assumptions
comparison
discipline
encouragement
endurance
frustration
half-marathon
inspiration
intensity
intention
mindset
miscommunication
misunderstanding
motivation
overthinking
partnership
perception
persistence
perspective
positivity
research
resilience
self-doubt
setback
stamina
structure
success
support
teamwork
training
Forced Pause Story and Reflection
My leisurely start to morning clinic with a no-show was short-lived. The kind, new MA took longer than experienced MAs to room patients, which began stacking up. I had almost caught up when I walked in to see another patient. Based on the CC, I was fairly sure this would be my opportunity to "get...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 09, 2025
acceptance
burnout prevention
cocreation
compassion
connection
control
disruption
empathy
frustration
grace
listening
mindfulness
pause
perspective
presence
reflection
reframe
repair
resilience
systems
Annoyance Reflection
In the past couple of weeks, both in a group coaching session and a couple of individual coaching sessions with residents, the topic of strengths came up.
There was an HBR article a while back that points out that many of us overlook our strengths (which are critical to optimizing our impact). In...
by Dr. Tonya Caylor —
Jun 03, 2025
awareness
blindspots
clarity
coaching
development
empowerment
frustration
gratitude
growth
impact
insight
leadership
mindset
perspective
reflection
reframing
self-awareness
strengths
tolerance
understanding
Joy in Family Medicine – Stories & Reflections
