Envy or Esteem Reflection
They're everywhere.
- Physicians who own their own thriving practices.
- Physicians who lead departments and hospital systems.
- Physicians who lead well-being initiatives in effective, meaningful ways within their systems.
- Physician coaches who work clinically full-time.
- Physicians who have retired and are traveling the world without guilt.
- Physician coaches who have built huge practices employing others and being sought-after speakers for national conferences.
- Physicians who have spent 30 years within a single FQHC serving the underserved for the entirety of their careers.
- Academic physicians who are full professors in distinguished universities with multiple publications.
- Physicians who serve with Doctors Without Borders.
These are mine. My what you ask?
The real-life examples and opportunities around me that invite me to compare. That give me the chance to go down the "compare and despair" route, leading to self-doubt and negative self-talk.
However, the urge to compare no longer has a pull on me. I've learned a secret to esteem them without envy.
I have learned to recognize the reflex comparisons as they appear in my mind, see them as unhelpful and largely untrue, and shift.
After all, comparison is the thief of joy. So many times we compare someone else's highlight reel to our blooper reel, as someone once said. We have no idea what is going on inside them, what things they've been through, or what their values are that led them on their path.
I remind myself that what they do changes nothing about my values or choices. I reflect on the following questions:
- What do I admire about that person?
- What do they inspire me to do?
- How can I celebrate them?
Uncoupling their notable feats and characteristics from me allows me to first really enjoy and truly, purely appreciate themβto really celebrate them!
Second, I remind myself of my strengths, purpose, and priorities. I am living the life I crafted from these. I like my choices and my reasons.
By reviewing these key principles, I remember I'm happy with my chosen path. And, If I am ever so inspired, I can always pivot. Comparison is great for inspiration and aspiration. It's terrible when it's used to fuel discontent or feelings of inadequacy.
Reflection: Where do you find your invitations to compare and despair? What secrets have you learned to shift out of comparison? How might the questions above apply in your situation?
This week, celebrate others without making it mean anything about you. Exercise your agency. Like your reasons. Utilize your strengths. Enjoy the journey!
As Dr. Seuss once said, "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Your than You." And that, my friend, is a good thing!
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