Cooking with the Caylor's Story & Reflection

A few years back, I had just returned from a rewarding conference in Napa put on by Harvard School of Public Health and the Culinary Institute of America (CIA) - Healthy Kitchens, Healthy Lives. Healthy nutrition science meets taste 💜.

The first year my husband and I attended, I came home energized and ready to explore a teaching kitchen within the residency. He loves to cook and was mostly on board when I announced we would host a meal with some faculty members in which he cooked, and I updated them on the latest in nutrition science. Then we'd eat and brainstorm how to integrate this into the residency.

We picked out nutritious recipes that we felt would be affordable for the residency patient population. My husband multitasks like none-other and prepares complex dishes all the time, so knowing he's a good sport, I never doubted my plan. I helped prep some things in advance. It would be just like we saw demonstrated at the conference. (Can you see where this is going? 😬)

I moved a large screen into the kitchen and walked through some slides. My colleagues and friends snacked on appetizers as they sat around the island and adjacent sitting area, listening to me and watching the chef just behind me.

I noted more and more attention on the cuisine prep and finally one said, "Um, Tonya, should we help your husband?" I confidently said, "Oh no, he's fine." Then I glanced his way and saw sweat on his brow and him moving a bit frantically. I'd never seen him rattled - until then.

What I failed to account for is the tremendous support that happened behind the scenes at the CIA. You see Chef Linda Shieu, MD in the photo above - she has one hands-on assistant, and a team of people behind the wall, prepping, cleaning, stirring, deglazing, etc. There was nothing wrong with my husband's skill, experience, or willingness. He just lacked the support to enjoy the process.

How fitting of an analogy is this in medicine currently? Maybe you can't ask for a whole team, but what is one piece of low-hanging fruit you can ask for in order to enjoy the work more and be less stressed? What's the manner and the persons that need to be involved to give you the best shot at success? Please - continue to ask for what you need - for the sake of yourself, patients, staff, colleagues, and trainees. We are most resilient when we are afforded adequate resources.

Don't worry, the meal was completed with only a few items left out and it was enjoyed by all. Cooking with the Caylors morphed into me being the sous chef to his chef extraordinaire and kept to smaller settings. Though, I haven't told him of my new plans yet. (shhh! 🤫).