Boundaries and Antics, Story and Reflection

Many of you know I recommend Brave Boundaries, a book by Dr. Sasha Shillcutt. After she co-hosted a group session for residents and faculty last year, I saw Aardvark (that's our pet-name for our older style Roomba vacuum) and his virtual barrier shown in the photo in a new light. That little contraption keeps him from falling down the stairs. It's a boundary for his own good.

I was reflecting on all the times I didn't use boundaries effectively for my own good recently. Years ago, as a resident driving to GI Journal Club at night (held at one of the fellows' homes on a dark stretch of road), I noticed a man making a beeline toward an older woman, herself, hobbling. I immediately stopped and unlocked my doors, and told her to get in. He had already grabbed her purse and ran off as I made a full stop. It was reflex, based on good intentions.

It was then I realized that I had dismissed my long-held boundary of not letting strangers in my car, especially at night. I also realized that the woman was much younger than initially thought, intoxicated, and quite strong. I could tell by the way she pounded the grocery bag of canned goods against my dash over and over as she was yelling at him and at me. And my final realization was - I had no plan. 😳

So, I did what any normal resident would do. I drove her to journal club. 😂 As I knocked on the door and asked for their phone handset (dating myself here), the fellow was pretty quick in his assessment and put up his own boundary. "She can remain on the porch until the police arrive." I sat out there with her as she created quite the spectacle for all to see and hear. After giving my report to the officer and him taking her home, I joined in on the article discussion. There were several wisecracks at my expense throughout the night. Good times. 😜

Reflection:

What are the boundaries you have up installed to keep yourself safe and sane? What boundaries are missing? What boundaries need shoring up? What will support you in doing so?

The situation turned out okay, but it could have been dangerous had the assailant jumped in, or she had slung those cans at me. I have new ideas of how I'd respond if it happens again. Lessons learned. But if nothing else, it's safe to say that it was a journal club many GI docs didn't likely forget! 😉