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Annoyance Reflection

by Dr. Tonya Caylor
Jun 03, 2025

In the past couple of weeks, both in a group coaching session and a couple of individual coaching sessions with residents, the topic of strengths came up.

There was an HBR article a while back that points out that many of us overlook our strengths (which are critical to optimizing our impact). In addition to taking a validated tool like VIA Character Strengths or Clifton Strengths finders, asking those you respect what they believe you do well, and self-reflecting - the article provided another tool.

What annoys you about others? Many times, it's an overlooked strength. If you're particularly good at organization, you may be irritated by someone who is constantly disorganized. You miss the fact that it's your strength and they don't have that as theirs. Or if you're particularly good at putting people at ease, it may be unnerving to watch someone not understand how to reassure or de-escalate individuals. You are blind to the fact that it's a top strength for you.

Take a moment and see if you can find any of your strengths with this exercise. What changes for you when you see it that way? How might your frustration level be affected?

I'd love to hear any takeaways.

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